Lately there’s a lot of talk about little boys and nail polish. One of two things is happening. Either every mom in America is trying to turn her son gay (and who doesn’t want a gay son) or every mom in America just wants a manicure.
Just to be clear, I fall squarely in the first camp. My dream come true would be for my children to have a life where they are bullied, belittled and segregated. Every mother looks at their infant child and says to herself, “My goodness, I hope he can be the one minority group that has had their rights legislated away. Perhaps he will be bullied relentlessly or maybe even forced to attend prom with a date that squicks him out.” Being gay is awesome (it’s sort of like being a redhead), being gay in America is not.
Oh wait, I actually just wanted a mani pedi.
Here’s how boys get their nails done. Moms look like shit. You know it, I know it. There are a few mutants who push a baby out, hit the gym, touch up their roots and return to hawtness, these women are not my friends. If you’re like the rest of us, motherhood is the first time you’ve been a little fat, a little tired, and covered in snot. If you should be lucky enough to carve out an hour to get your nails done you might actually opt to nap instead. BUT if you can get your nails done and you can’t shake the kids for the hour the next best choice is to do theirs too.
This is how my son got pedicures. Thus far he seems to be interested in girls, guns and baseball. I’ll have to employ new methods if I want fabulousness.
The year my son was three my daughter was still in intensive speech therapy. Once a week, while Jane was in therapy, Alexander and I would go next door and have manicures. I loved that hour. The ladies at the salon loved that hour (I’m a good tipper) and Alexander loved having black and blue toenails. He never asked for pinks or for reds, it’s unlikely they were offered to him. In fact I’m pretty sure I gender-type my kids.
My husband hated seeing Alexander’s nails done. He didn’t like the look of a boy with polish and his head about exploded when he walked into the salon and saw a lady hunched over our toddler son’s feet. At that point I had to agree with him that it was inappropriate, but not because of gender, because of age. It felt inappropriate to have adults serving my son.
Where do you stand on the great mani-pedi debate?
Jessica Gottlieb is a Mom Blogger in Los Angeles.
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This post is so on point that I can’t add anything but an AMEN. And I also think people should just take a step back and look at the crazy shit they are getting up in arms about..nail polish. Hell,I didn’t even get that mad when my manicurist put coral on my toenails and red on my fingernails ( apparently she was having a brain fart of epic proportions).I simply asked her to change it and that was damn near catastrophic.I can;t believe in this day and age people are so ridiculously homophobic.
My boys have been so socialized they would never wear pink anymore, so for me it’s a moot point. But I would have painted my 5 year old’s toes pink, no question. As John Stewart said, you know that stuff comes off, right? It’s not permanent.
I know we’ll never get away from gender-bias completely, and most likely shouldn’t, but what bugs me about this debate is that whenever my girls dress up as boys for Halloween, I’ve never been accused of trying to turn my girls lesbian. Mothers of daughters are encouraged to think outside gender bias. Why can’t it work the other way around? Yes we’re different, but to me, there’s no better time than childhood to find non-threatening play activities to appreciate the “other” side.