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The Quiet Crazy; Is Modern Life Isolating?

Isolation (photo by Yvonne Condes)

This is a guest post by Lindsay Kavet.Isolation (photo by Yvonne Condes)

Last year I wrote a piece about how I have underscheduled my kids. The quieter pace of life is good but the negative is that my kids are often alone.

I’ve found that many people are so scheduled that kids just aren’t having random playdates. Sometimes, when I’m on a walk, I’ll notice gated off driveways and left out kid toys and I think, ‘OK, they must have kids but due to cars speeding through the neighborhood and lack of sidewalks the kids can’t walk around.’

I worry about my kids growing up and not knowing what it’s like to run around with their friends.

When I was my son’s age, 7 1/2, I organized kids in the neighborhood to put on shows. We’d run back and forth, to and from. I didn’t have homework until 3rd grade.

Poor infrastructure, tons of homework, overscheduling, parents who have to work grueling hours – I feel for our children. Then throw in technology. When I walk into our pediatrician’s office most of the kids are on their parents iPhones. Not many people say hello. What are we teaching our kids? I, too, plop my children on the iPhone sometimes thinking, ‘Oh, screw it.’

I feel like I’m raising my kids in a very isolated time of human existence. It’s frantic.

I’ve had lots of feelings of isolation as well. We moved and I have found elementary schools don’t build communities quite as well as preschools. Or perhaps just dropping your kid off in a car breaks down the moments to commune.

There are far too many moments where I can not break free from the modern trappings to actually have a beautiful moment of connection with another person and for my children to have this.

Their school is intense. My son says over and over to me, recess is so short – and it is. He also says he doesn’t wash his hands during lunch time because there is only 15 minutes to eat and it would take too much time away from eating.

This is the kind of world we are raising our kids in?

I’ve tried escaping it, but not joining in on the classes makes me feel like we are missing out on some kind of social bonding.

Every generation struggles with something, for me the relentless, frantic and isolating lifestyle we have created seems to be the common thread amongst my mom friends when we talk.

Do you feel this way?


Lindsay Kavet is a Los Angeles mom who Co-Created/Directs/Produces the national hit stage play “Expressing Motherhood.” She writes for What The Flicka? and is a guest blogger for Moms LA. She also launched Fix The Toaster. She has 3 kids under the age of 6. Read her last post on MomsLA.





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  1. Michelle Villemaire 20 February, 2014 at 09:06 Reply

    Yes, Lindsay. I do feel this way. It’s a major source of anxiety and depression. I think about packing up the family and getting away from it all sometimes, but where would we go? I long for a time and place when they can just be kids. Unstructured and never-ending. But home for supper.

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